


When Worlds Collide and Days are Dark

by lindseyluvsdrag



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF, rpdr - Fandom
Genre: American Civil War, F/M, Violet Chachki - Freeform, pearl liaison - Freeform, pearlet, rpdr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 14:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5542556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindseyluvsdrag/pseuds/lindseyluvsdrag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the middle of the Civil War. Matt is a Union solider and Violet is a Rebel nurse. When it comes down to love and her country, which will Violet choose?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Worlds Collide and Days are Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Huruhara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huruhara/gifts).



> A collab with @theredrugirl on tumblr

 

“Jake, do you have my flank?!” Private Matthew shouted as he took refuge behind the stone bunker.

“Affirmative!” his best friend replied.

As Confederate bullets careened above their heads, Matthew quickly adjusted his musket and returned fire. His round landed in the carotid artery of an older Rebel contributing to his death seconds later.

“Bully!” Jake cheered before wounding another soldier in the arm.

“Tell Abe Lincoln we’ll win this war on our own,” Matthew joked as Jake threw an arm around him. The two friends shared a smile for only a moment before Jake pulled Matt to the ground.

“Look out!”

The boys ducked and covered their heads as cannon fire sounded above them.

***

The year was 1861 and the Civil war had been going full force for months. When word had gotten out back in April that Confederates had attacked Fort Sumter, the northern states quickly rallied to form a defense team against the south.

Fresh out of high school, best friends Matthew James and Jake Ludwig immediately signed up for the draft, eager to defend their beloved home state of New York against the southern enemies that wanted to destroy it. The boys would be damned if anyone was to tear their nation apart.

Now dressed in soiled blue uniforms, the two on the battlefield were always exhilarated. They didn’t know where they were but guessed the battle had taken them somewhere near Delaware. The boys were good shots, had each other’s backs, and were inseparable in the trenches. They were confident that General Grant would soon be promoting them to higher ranks, as it didn’t look like the war would be ending anytime soon.

***

The cannonball landed somewhere behind the two and Matt cringed as he turned to assess the damage. Luckily, no one from their side was fatally wounded.

“Matt!” Jake tugged on his sleeve before pointing across the field. “Look!”

Matthew shielded his eyes against the setting sun and gazed in the direction his friend had indicated. Sure enough, their enemies clad in grey uniforms were retreating; having given up battle for the day as instructed by their leader, General Lee of Virginia.

Jake and Matt leaped to their feet and started whooping and hollering before hugging each other tight.

“Those parlor soldiers didn’t stand a chance against us and our lightning reflexes!” Jake sassed.

Matt laughed. “Come on, you. Let’s get back to camp and try to recharge. For all we know they’re planning a midnight ambush.”

Gathering their weapons, the two boys jogged back to where they had set up camp under the direction of General Grant.

***

The Union soldiers entertained themselves with idle chat as they ate their rations of blandly cooked beans and rice.

“So, what kind of business did you possums say you were going into?” Private Willam patronized.

“We’re going to open a bar,” Matthew replied with a half smile.

“Camp Jezebel,” Jake revealed the title. “It’ll be so high-falutin’ that a pie eater like you won’t even be able to get in.”

“Jezebel?” Willam chortled. “Is it a bar or a brothel?”

The pair communicated through a series of smug glances.

“A little bit of both,” they laughed in unison.

“Didn’t your mothers teach you any better?” Lieutenant Brian chastised.

“No, but yours can come and work for us,” Jake howled.

“Insubordination,” Brian accused. “General Grant shall hear about this.”

Matthew scoffed. “When General Grant hears how many heads we’ve mounted, we’ll be your superiors.”

“We licked at least ten scalawags each today. Can you say the same, Lieutenant?” Jake challenged.

“Don’t start with these two,” Willam warned Brian. “They will defend each other to the death.”

Brian rolled his eyes in exasperation before walking away.

“They’re like a married couple!” Willam teased.

“He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember,” Matthew snatched Jake’s kepi off of his head and rustled his dirty hair.

“And after the war we’ll be rich.”

“Rich in whiskey and women.”

“Well…I’d like a family soon,” Jake shrugged. “At least five children.”

“I hate when you talk like that,” Matt groaned.

“We can’t be gal-sneakers all of our lives.”

“I will,” he assured.

“You just need to find the right skirt.”

“No woman will tie me down,” Matt flexed his muscles.

“Well-”

“Curfew!” a high-ranking officer announced. “Return your leftovers and hit the hay.”

The soldiers scraped the uneaten food into a pot to be reheated for breakfast before making their way to their temporary homes; the small green tents. The shelter was wide enough to protect four bodies from night rain as they lay snugly in their thin sleeping bags.

All was quiet: the soldiers usually passed out at any given opportunity, but the two sandy blondes couldn’t settle down.

“Jake?” Matt whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Are you one hundred percent when you say you want to settle down?”

“Of course. We’re at war, Matt. Knowing that we could die at any moment and our lives would’ve been meaningless, just-”

“Jake, we’re the best shots in this damn platoon,” he reminded. “Nothing will happen to you.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I just want the fairytale life that we’re fighting for.”

“Fairytale? No such woman exists.”

“Actually…when we get home, I’m hoping that Allegra O’Meara will be my lady,” he blushed as he stared into the night sky.

“The school teacher? I knew you were sweet for her.”

“She never wanted anything to do with me before we left, Matt… maybe, just maybe when we return as hometown heroes I can win her over.”

“Whatever you say, soldier,” Matt tugged more of their shared blanket to his side.

“She’s grand,” Jake beamed. “I want to be married and have those five kids…” He felt his friend’s glare burn into the side of his face. “After we open Camp Jezebel of course,” he added.

Matt smiled. “You can have your wife and children after a few years of success at the bar…Just make sure you name one of those crumb-crushers after me,” he grinned.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Jake chuckled.

“Sssh!” someone scolded the boys.

Suppressing their laughter, the pair had a litany of silent conversations until they fell asleep.

***

The night was still for only a few quick hours before all hell broke loose.

Matt and Jake were thrust back into their whirlwind of a job when a battle cry sounded from the bushes behind their camp.

“Shit!” Matt hissed, grabbing his gun and tossing Jake a sword. “It’s the greybacks!”

The boys leaped from their tent and immediately brandished their weapons, ready to shut down their enemies with a few shots and swipes of the sword.

Adrenaline surged through their veins as they effortlessly worked in tandem to knock out anyone who dared cross their paths. Opposing soldier after soldier fell to their knees as Matt and Jake seemed to work as one; knowing when the other needed help to finish someone off.

As a cry rang out from across the camp, Matt glanced up from where he’d stopped to catch his breath; immense concern spreading across his face. “Was that Willam?”

The momentary distraction cost him though, for he was suddenly pulled out of his concern by blinding pain erupting through his left leg, a few inches below the knee. He had been shot.

Matt fell to the ground in agony and blood began to pour through his fingers as he clutched his wound. Despite the pain, he knew he was in the most vulnerable position to get finished off: on the ground, immobile and just waiting for someone to come and do the deed.

“Jake!” he weakly called out to his friend, trying to keep his voice strong. “Jake, help…”

Only a few yards away, Jake was too focused on fending off two Confederate soldiers to hear his best friend’s cry. The boy was sharp with a cutlass and could easily hold them off on his own, but was starting to tire without his usual backup from Matt.

He spotted his comrade wounded on the grass, and his face paled. “Matt…”

The distraction was all his enemies needed, and before Matt could even get out a word of warning, the Rebel sword was plunged into Jake’s chest.

“Jake!” Matt cried, tears from the pain mingling with new ones falling over fear for his brother. He dragged himself across the dirt as Jake crumpled to the ground.

“I’m okay,” Jake wheezed, trying to breathe evenly. “Got me in the shoulder, nothing important. Gonna need a new collarbone but I’ll be okay.”

Matt couldn’t stop crying, the reality of their situation setting in. “I can’t believe this happened…”

“We’re gonna be okay,” Jake managed a small smile, looking up at his best friend. “You got hit?”

“Bastard fucking nailed me,” Matt grimaced, trying to wipe away tears but only succeeding in smudging them further on his cheeks with the dirt that was already there. “But look… they’re retreating…”

Sure enough, the Confederates had had enough of their night time ambush and were satisfied with the damage. One by one, they hopped over bushes; leaving the Union camp full of carnage and blood.

“We have to get to medical,” Matt groaned, trying to push himself up on his good leg. “Can you get up?”

“Help me and I’ll help you.”

The two boys managed to lean on each other enough to get themselves off the ground; only then were they able to survey the damage to their camp.

Bodies lay strewn everywhere, and it didn’t take a brain surgeon to know that their platoon had been hit hard.

Jake cursed under his breath as he took in the scene. General Grant and his horse were nowhere to be found; probably already trying to rally more men together from an additional camp.

Matt didn’t even bother to let his shock come through. After all, this was war. This is what they had signed up for.

Hopping on one leg, he managed to lean on Jake’s shoulder enough to get support and try not to hurt his friend in the process. As the two hobbled past the carnage, they took note of who was dead and who was too injured to get up, promising to come back with help for them.

As numb as he was, Matt couldn’t help but let out a sob when he saw Willam’s body, obviously lifeless due to a perfect bullet wound in his chest. It was what had started it all and the domino effect was just too strong.

One step at a time, the boys managed to make it across the field to the medical tent. Despite the pain fogging over his conscious, Matt knew that they had arrived at the Union medical because of the blue insignia on the outside.

The two stumbled inside and were immediately met by a flurry of nurses. As they were led to cots in the corner, Jake was able to get out that there were others who needed help back at camp. Only when that was attended to could he allow himself to rest under their care.

Matt however immediately sunk into the arms of one of the girls and allowed her to help him in any way possible. He hadn’t ever thought of how much he missed a motherly touch but now the relief was too strong to feel anything else. As the girl treated and wrapped his leg efficiently, Matt was able to bear the pain because he knew, at least for now, that he and his best friend were safe.

Nearly overcome by drowsiness, Matt managed to turn to the bunk next to him. “Jake, you okay?”

“Fine,” the other boy rasped. “We’re all good, Matty. Gonna recover here, and then maybe we get to go home.”

The hope for tomorrow that had been shattered earlier in the night seemed to return with Jake’s words, and it was the saving grace that lulled Matt to sleep.

***

Drawn out of his sleep the next morning by the aches and chills that consumed his body, Matthew wrapped his arms around himself. He mumbled something incoherent before Jake intervened.

“Hey buddy,” he said, wincing as he sat up. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so cold, Jake,” Matt murmured, pulling his blanket up further.

“It’s at least one hundred degrees out,” Jake frowned before carefully reaching across their cots, caressing Matt’s cheek with the back of his hand. “You’re burning up.”

The boy let out a panicked whimper.

“You’ll be okay, Matty,” Jake assured. “Nurse!”

“What’s wrong?” a petite redhead gathered her full skirt in her hands to avoid tripping and rushed over.

“He has a fever,” Jake informed.

She gently touched Matt’s forehead. “Hmm.”

“Hmm? What’s that supposed to mean?” Jake rushed, finally taking in the girl’s appearance. “You look a little young to be a nurse,” he accused.

“I’m sixteen,” she replied timidly. “I’m not medically trained, but I wanted to help.”

“Well, thank you…um…”

“Ivy,” she smiled.

“A goddess named Ivy,” Matt tried his hand at flirting through chattering teeth.

“That’s awfully sweet, but I’m sure it’s just the fever talking,” Ivy blushed.

“Nah, he’s always goofy for a pretty girl,” Jake played wingman. “But is he going to be okay?”

“With a little aspirin, I think he should be fine.”

Jake sighed in relief. “Told you that you’d be okay, Matty,” he gave his friend a playful nudge.

“I knew that when I saw her,” Matt flashed a killer half smile.

Ivy’s cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson. “I’d better…um,” the girl shook her head to regain focus. “I’ll get your medicine.” She gathered her full skirt once again before rushing away.

“Must you do that to every girl you meet?” Jake chuckled.

“Do what?” he smirked before they shared a laugh.

Within a minute, Ivy returned with a small cup in hand flanked by two more nurses; eager to witness the otherworldly charm from the soldier the girl had gossiped about.

“What did I do to get this lucky?” Matt smiled sheepishly as he gave them the once over. “What are your names?”

“Courtney,” the blonde said in a soft voice.

“I’m Joslyn,” the other giggled.

“They came to check you out- I mean check your temperature,” the teen stuttered.

“Both of you?” Jake raised an eyebrow.

“We like to be very accurate,” Courtney assured.

“Ya hear that? They want to be accurate, Jake,” Matt repeated smugly.

“Then we shouldn’t interfere with the acquiring of their accuracy,” the boy suppressed a laugh. “How many ways can you check a temperature again, ladies?”

The girls ignored him, all eyes on Matt. “So you’re a Private,” Joslyn deduced from his badges.

“I’m a public,” he joked.

Ivy giggled. “Here’s your medicine,” she handed him the cup.

“What is this?” Matt wrinkled his nose at the aspirin powder floating around in the water.

“We can’t give you pure powder. You’ll choke,” Courtney informed.

“I understand that, but water?” he returned the cup to Ivy’s timid hands. “Can a wounded soldier get tea or gin?” he smoldered.

“Um, we don’t have-” Ivy began.

“I really appreciate all that you ladies do for us,” Matt grabbed Joslyn’s hands, using all of his natural allure.

“This is a medical tent…we’re in the middle of a war,” Courtney reminded. “There is no tea or-”

Matt took her hand and kissed the back of it with feverish lips. “I really appreciate you,” he exhaled.

“I…um, woo,” she fanned herself with her free hand.

“We’ll see what we can do,” the dark haired girl rushed before the three hustled away.

“Get some for Jake too!” Matt shouted after them. “Being injured isn’t that bad,” he laughed. The friends exchanged a fist bump as the blonde nurse returned.

“I forgot to take your temperature,” she giggled nervously.

“Oops,” Matt smirked before allowing her to slide the glass thermometer under his tongue.

“Is that the same one that you use for the Nancy?” Jake raised an eyebrow.

Matt’s eyes grew wide before immediately spitting the device out of his mouth.

“Of course not,” the nurse gasped. “We have a special thermometer for…down there.”

“You are pure evil, Jake Ludwig,” Matt chuckled. Jake replied with a sly a grin.

“One hundred and two,” she grimaced as she read the thermometer. “You need your medicine now.”

“I managed to find apple cider,” Ivy blurted as she approached. The girl composed herself long enough to hand the boys their cups.

“Thanks,” Matthew winked causing the teen’s heart to skip a beat.

“Help needed!” Joslyn yelled from the field. Entranced by the soldier’s charms, the nurses had to be called two more times before they were snapped back to reality.

“This is going to be fun,” Jake chuckled as he took another sip of his cider.

***

Days passed, and Matt and Jake drifted in and out of sleep despite the hustle and bustle of the medical tent. The nurses were quiet but efficient in the care of all the injured boys from the Union, allowing them to sleep as much as needed to try and let their bodies recover from the strain of the war.

However, as time went on Matt grew more and more uncomfortable. Ivy and her fellow nurses always greeted him with the same smile, but he could see the concern and frustration on their faces as his fever continued to spike higher and higher.

When he was almost delirious, the girls ran out of ideas. All their medicines and treatment methods attempted on Matt had failed, and if they didn’t figure something out soon, he would die.

“We need help,” Ivy admitted as she gathered in the back of the tent with the other girls. “He’s not in good shape at all.”

Courtney rested her chin on one hand. “I just wish we had more medical training. We really don’t know enough to be doing this.”

“I know someone who can help,” Joslyn suddenly sat up.

“Who?” Ivy asked.

“It’s a long shot…she has medical training, but…”

“But what?”

“She’s a Confederate nurse.”

“A confederate? Well, that’s pointless. Why would she ever come help one of our soldiers?” Courtney asked.

Joslyn shrugged. “She doesn’t have to know until she’s here. I know she would never turn him away once she saw him. He’s so handsome!”

“How do you even know her?”

“She’s a family friend. She hails from Atlanta and chose to fight for her hometown instead of where she lived, up north with us. I saw her outside the Confederate tent the other day, the one across the field.”

“Well, go get her then! What’s her name?” Ivy asked.

“Violet… Violet Chachki.”

***

Violet followed Joslyn back across the field to the union tent. “Are you sure you can’t figure this out by yourself?”

“No, Violet. I told you already, we need your experience. You’re the only one of all of us who went to school for this,” Joslyn replied, pulling the tent flap open.

Violet followed her in, looking around. Being in the enemy’s tent didn’t scare her, just made her feel disgusted. It wasn’t her turf, and therefore, wasn’t her problem. But Joslyn had sworn they just needed some help reading ingredients on medicine labels.

Following her friend to the back, Violet took the bottle of aspirin that Joslyn handed her and gave her friend a suspicious glance. “Aspirin?”

“I need to know what the stuff in it is,” Joslyn informed. “We have a really, really sick soldier…he doesn’t have much time left.”

Curiosity got the best of Violet, despite this wounded warrior being her enemy. “He doesn’t?”

“He has a horrible fever, it won’t go down no matter what we try.”

“Injuries?”

Joslyn nodded. “Bullet wound.”

“He has an infection,” Violet answered immediately. “It needs to be treated right or his fever will only get higher.”

“Can you go look at him?”

Violet recoiled. “No. He’s a filthy Yankee. You’re lucky I’m even here, practically helping you win this war.”

“Violet…”

“You tricked me…” Violet realized, handing back the bottle. “You wanted me to help him all along, didn’t you? How could you take advantage of me like this, Jos?”

Before the other girl could answer, Violet had turned on her heel and was heading for the exit, ready to go back to her tent and her own soldiers. Passing Matt’s cot on her way out, she was stopped when he turned over, facing her.

“Hey..” he managed to get out, looking up at her. “Wow…. aren’t you something.”

Violet raised a brow. “What kind of mother raised you to talk to a lady like that?”

“Don’t leave…” Matt reached for her hand despite aching all over. “Please…”

Violet stepped away. “I don’t touch Yankees.”

“What kind of nurse are you? Gonna turn away a dying man?” a second voice joined in from behind Violet, and she turned to see another sandy blonde strewn across a cot, shoulder bandaged.

“I’ll turn away anyone who’s dying at the hands of my men,” she retorted, putting a hand on her hip.

“Violet..” Ivy appeared behind her and put a hand on the other girl’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry that we put you in this situation. Matt just really needs help… please…”

With a heavy sigh, Violet turned back to the sick boy in his bed. “You are the enemy and I can’t stand to look at a blue uniform. You’ve killed men from my hometown, and you and your fellow soldiers are destroying what we’ve worked so hard for as a southern recession from this country. I don’t like you, and I’ll never like you. However…” she paused. “It’s in my code of ethics as a nurse to help you if you need it. I know how to treat you, so I will.”

Matt flashed her a charming smile. “That’s awfully sweet of you, gorgeous. Tell me, what’s the name of my angel sent from heaven?”

“Violet,” she replied, not amused.

“Well, Miss Violet, I’m Matthew. And that’s my best friend Jake,” Matt pointed towards the other boy, who gave a wave from his side of the tent. “I promise, we’ll be the best patients you’ve ever had.”

“Who said anything about both of you?!”

“You’ll enjoy us, Vi, promise…” Jake said with a lazy smile.

“My name is Violet,” she said through gritted teeth. “You were most likely raised by a pack of wolves, but where I’m from, gentleman know how to treat a lady.”

“Oh, I know how to treat a lady,” he replied smugly.

She glared at him through narrowed eyes.

“Hey, the sooner you help us, the sooner we’ll be outta here and back home, out of your way.”

To keep her composure, Violet said a silent prayer before exhaling and moving to Matthew’s bedside.

“Hi,” the boy smiled softly, light sweat causing his forehead to glisten.

“Where were you shot?” she asked, getting straight to the point.

“The left leg.”

Violet gently lifted the blanket from around Matt’s legs. Had she not been a trained professional, the sight of the blood and pus soiled bandage would have made her faint.

“Okay,” she sighed before returning to Joslyn’s side. “Have those bandages been changed since you applied them?”

“No?” she replied in a curious tone.

“I’ll need a clean towel and hot water,” Violet ordered. Joslyn nodded before exiting the tent.

When Joslyn returned with the items, Violet immediately got to work. Taking her scissors, she cut the edge of the soiled cloth before slowly peeling the fabric away from Matt’s swollen, festered skin.

As a distraction from the pain, Matt found himself focusing on Violet’s delicate eyebrow as it furrowed in concentration.

When the wound was finally exposed, it was worse than she thought. The hole where the bullet was lodged overflowed with yellow pus while the surrounding skin was various shades of purple. Keeping her expression calm, Violet proceeded to clean it. She dipped the towel in the hot water before pressing it against his leg.

“Ow,” Matt whimpered.

“What are you doing to him?” Jake asked, immediately concern.

Ignoring him, Violet gently patted the wound as Matt continued to wince. Comforting words were at the edge of her lips before the navy blue uniform reminded her who he was; encouraging her to apply unnecessary pressure as she wiped.

“Jake,” he mewled, extending a weak hand.

“I’m here buddy,” Jake groaned as he sat up. He made his way over to his best friend and grabbed his hand.

Violet raised an eyebrow at their unique relationship as she finished the cleaning in a few more harsh swipes.

“That hurt more than when I actually got shot,” Matt let out a breathy laugh.

“Can you remove the bullet?” Jake asked the nurse.

“No,” she replied curtly.

“But it-”

“It’s okay, Jake,” Matt gave a half smile. “I’ll be a mechanical man.”

“That’ll be a great conversation starter at Camp Jezebel,” he chuckled.

Violet scowled at the term before pulling a small bottle out of her bag.

“What is that?” Jake asked.

“Antibiotics.”

“Is that going to make him feel better?”

“It will lessen the chances of him dying from an infection,” she said sharply.

“Well, I was prepared to die once I learned that angels looked like you,” Matt grinned.

“I see rotting flesh every day and it never makes me as sick as that vile prattle,” Violet hissed.

“All the charm and spice of a true southern belle, Matty,” Jake taunted.

“Yankee scum,” she spat before shoving the medicine into Joslyn’s hand.

She lifted the flap to the tent’s exit; dusk had painted the sky orange.

“You’ll never make it back to your camp before dark,” Joslyn said, concern in her tone.

“I’ll be fine,” Violet said sternly.

“But you could be mistaken as a target, be attacked by bandits or anything. Stay with us for the night,” she pleaded.

Violet shot daggers at the boys. “I’d rather die than be in proximity with such repulsive creatures.”

“Please,” Joslyn begged. “I’ll even give you my cot and you can leave the first thing in the morning. Please?”

Giving in with a sharp exhale, Violet shoved the flap out of her way and exited before heading to the nurse’s tent.

“Thank you, Violet,” Matt called after her.

“Sweet, isn’t she?” Joslyn smiled.

***

The girls’ tent was illuminated by a single candle as they lounged and shared idle chat. Laid in her temporary bed, Violet did her nightly reading of the latest medical journals.

“Did you see Matthew after Violet treated him?” Courtney gushed from her cot. “His eyes look bluer already.”

“His eyes are always as blue as the Michigan sky,” Ivy beamed.

“I’m trying to study here,” Violet grumbled.

“He would make a great husband,” Joslyn said from her makeshift hay bed on the ground.

“Oh, I’d give him at least ten children,” Courtney said shamelessly.

“Courtney!” Ivy blushed.

Violet groaned before placing the pillow over her head as she continued to read.

“Do you think he’ll have a limp from his injury?” Courtney asked.

“I don’t know,” Ivy shrugged.

“Violet?” Joslyn inquired.

“Who cares if the lowly Yankee has a limp?” was her harsh reply.

“We do!” Courtney defended.

“Bully for you,” Violet rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Vi,” Joslyn pouted.

“The bullet is lodged in the bone just below his knee,” she sighed. “Unless the wound heals properly around it, there’s a chance he might have to have his leg amputated.”

Low gasps spread throughout the small tent.

“I’d still give him ten children,” Courtney shrugged.

Ivy and Joslyn nodded their heads as they giggled, causing Violet to give up on her reading before blowing out the candle.

***

“Violet…Violet…” Joslyn’s tone was urgent as she shook her friend awake.

“What?” she jumped up. “Did I sleep in?” Grabbing her bag, Violet quickly returned her books and smoothed her hair. “I need to get back to my camp and-”

“Your camp was burned last night,” Joslyn informed sorrowfully.

“What?” she exhaled. “Was anyone killed?”

“A least a dozen who couldn’t make it out in time. There was a carrier pigeon who delivered this message for you earlier this morning,” she handed Violet the letter.

With steady hands, she grabbed the paper and immediately unscrolled it before reading the rushed penmanship.

“My dearest nurse, Violet,” she began in a mumble.

I’m saddened to have to inform you of the Union attacks that have left our camp barren and several men dead. For the time being, we’ll be refugeeing south. It’d be in everyone’s best interest if you remained with the Rebel soldiers you left to help until further notice.

Captain Chad Michaels

“Good thing you came here when you did,” Joslyn attempted to comfort her.

“I suppose,” she sighed. “Filthy Yankees.”

“We all just want a better America.”

“At the expense of the lives of good men,” she said before storming out of the tent.

“But you’ll still help the soldiers here, right?” Joslyn chased after her.

Violet looked at her intently. “Because I want to be a great nurse…that’s it.”

***

“Good morning, sunshine,” Jake greeted Violet when she finally entered their tent.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation and pulled the thermometer out of her bag.

“How are y-” Matt got out before the device was shoved into his mouth.

“Listen well because I’m only going to say this once,” Violet glared at the boys. “I don’t like you, in fact, I hate you. The only reason I’m treating you is because you’re considered human beings to some people and I have a code of ethics to follow. I don’t want to converse with you; don’t even greet me,” she concluded her rant with a sharp exhale.

“Yes ma’am,” Jake said with raised eyebrows before looking at Matt. The other boy fought the smile to keep the thermometer in place. Violet snatched the tube out of his mouth.

“Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed. “You’ll pop my teeth right out of my head.”

“One hundred,” she read. “Another dose of aspirin should take care of that.”

“Matty, do you think red or green portieres will suit Camp Jezebel the best?”

“Red…like a woman’s rouge,” he grinned.

“I want the bar to have a classy feel. Chandeliers, plush seating for the ladybirds.”

“I don’t think they’ll do much sitting,” Matthew said suggestively.

“Squatting perhaps?” Jake raised an eyebrow causing them both to erupt in laughter.

Wanting to get away from the repulsive conversation about clubs and prostitutes, Violet pulled the aspirin and a spoon out of her bag. She opened the bottle and scooped up a spoonful. The nurse held the powdered medicine in front of Matt’s face.

“I can’t take it like that. I could choke,” he said timidly.

“That wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” she said under her breath, continuing to hold the spoon in front of his face.

Matt gave a half smile. “Do you like being a nurse?”

“Help needed!” she shouted. Within seconds, Ivy entered the tent. Violet handed the teen the spoon. “Give it the medicine,” she returned her equipment to her bag before heading towards the exit.

“He likes apple cider,” Ivy smiled before retrieving the beverage.

As Violet checked the other soldiers in the tent, she couldn’t help but overhear the odd banter between the best friends.

“Do you remember the time that you tried to sell your little brother to the circus?” Matthew asked.

“The kid has a long face and acts like an animal, it was only fair to see how much I could get for him,” Jake laughed.

“Awful,” he teased.

“You’re no better,” he wheezed. “ You tried to canoodle with Miss Jenny. ‘The world’s smallest waist’ had ya sweet.”

“Her waist was not the world’s smallest,” the boy scoffed. “Violet’s is much…tighter,” he smirked, attempting to get a reaction out of the nurse. Head held high, she continued to ignore them.

“Tighter is always good,” Jake suppressed a laugh.

“It’s what I look for in a woman,” Matt admitted. “After I ensure that she has dark hair, brown eyes…is a nurse.”

“Name has to start with a ‘V’,” Jake added with a giggle.

“You understand me!” he howled. “That’s why you’re my best friend.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Be a six hundred pound toffer,” he assured.

Violet fought a smile as she moved to the next bed.

“Probably,” Jake let out a breathy laugh. “I just hope Allegra thinks highly of me.”

“Of course she will, you’re a war hero and the best man I know.”

“I suppose.”

“If she doesn’t then she’s a fool who doesn’t deserve to be a wife anyways. Maybe work at Camp Jezebel,” he smiled.

Jake weakly tossed his kepi at his friend with his good arm. “I’ll name my first daughter after you.”

“Good and she’ll have automatic acceptance at the circus.”

“Muck snipe,” he insulted with a smile as he clutched his chest to catch his breath.

***

Over the next few days, Violet overheard her fair share of vulgar male conversations that included drinking, women, and Camp Jezebel. Eventually, she had had it. Not even bothering to treat the rowdy boys anymore, when she finally made it to Jake’s cot, she simply glared at him and headed towards the exit.

“Wait, what about me?” he yelled after her. With a silent prayer, she hesitantly turned. The nurse glanced over the soldier’s appearance, finally noticing his light shiver and unusually pale skin. He looked at her with pleading eyes, knowing something had changed.

“How were you injured?”

“Um,” his eyebrows knitted together. “I think I was shot.”

“Jake…you were stabbed,” worry painted Matt’s face. “Stabbed in the shoulder.”

“Oh…oh!” the boy palmed his face. “I’m just a little confused.”

“Hm,” Violet hummed curiously before approaching her patient. She placed her middle and index finger on Jake’s inner wrist. Not only was his skin cool to the touch, but she could barely detect a pulse. Without a word, she pulled back his blanket and discovered red speckles along his arms and neck. “When was the last time you urinated?”

Jake’s cheeks became flushed. “Two days,” he whispered.

“Have you been eating properly? Drinking plenty of water?”

“Um, I-I…”

“His eating and drinking has been fine to me,” Ivy informed.

“Go get him more water, immediately,” Violet ordered in an urgent tone.

The girl nodded and quickly exited the tent. The advance blood poisoning apparent, Violet racked her brain at ways to treat the contemporary condition.

“Breathing might seem difficult, but you need to try to keep your breathing deep and even.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Matt sat up. “He has been a little disoriented for a while, but I just thought he was tired or something. What’s wrong with him, Violet?”

Ignoring the direct question, the nurse frantically dug the antibiotics out of her bag.

Wincing at the pain, Matt swung his legs over the side of the cot. He put his weight on his right leg before hobbling toward his best friend.

“Get back into bed,” Violet scowled.

“What’s wrong with him?” the boy repeated. “Jake,” he exhaled as he grabbed his friend’s hand.

“I’m fine,” Jake slurred.

Matt eyes grew wide in panic. “Do your nursery things, hit him on the knee, I don’t know…just fix him,” he pleaded.

“Back to bed,” Violet ordered, turning Matt in the direction of his cot. “I need space.”

Matt hesitated before retreating to his bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress, intently observing Violet’s care on Jake from afar.

“Everything’s…spinning…” Jake frowned, confused as he reached for Violet’s arm to help his balance.

“Spinning? What’s wrong?!” Matt panicked.

Violet ignored him, gently laying Jake back down on his cot and smoothing a hand over his forehead before she could stop herself. Despite how irritated she was by the boys in the days prior, her motherly instincts couldn’t help but come through when she saw how much of a nose dive the boy had taken.

“You’re alright,” she said calmly. “You’re going into shock. That’s a good thing. Your body is trying to cope the best way it can.”

All Jake could do was nod in return.

Violet suppressed a frustrated sigh and looked over her shoulder to see Courtney, Ivy, and Joslyn waiting in the wings, worried. She beckoned them over before rising from her seat and letting go of Jake’s hand.

“He’s not going to make it,” she whispered so neither boy could hear. “He has all the symptoms of severe blood poisoning and his body is shutting down.”

The girls nodded at the grim situation in front of them. “How long does he have?” Joslyn asked quietly.

“A few days at most.”

“Should we tell Matt?” Ivy asked.

Violet shook her head before looking back at the two boys. Matt’s concerned gaze never left the other soldier. Once again, he managed to push himself off his own cot to sit on Jake’s as he worriedly looked after his best friend. “He’ll know.”

***

The rude humor and laughter that was always erupting through the tent had come to an abrupt halt since Violet diagnosed Jake. It was unspoken to the soldiers how bad his condition really was, but it didn’t take a scientist to figure out that the situation wasn’t good.

Despite his own injuries, Matt refused to leave Jake’s side. The two shared a bed and Matt coerced his friend to eat, even if he had to feed him himself. If Jake could manage to stay conscious Matt would tell him stories to try to bring back the boyish grin that his best friend always seemed to wear. It rarely came back.

***

Matt woke a day later to the sun starting to peek over the treetops outside the tent. He turned with a groan and rubbed his eyes before gently pushing Jake’s shoulder. “Hey buddy, you alright?”

No answer.

Matt froze, his entire body becoming cold. “Jake?”

He sat up despite the screaming pain in his leg and shook his best friend. “Jake?!”

The other boy lay motionless, eyes closed and face an odd shade grey.

“Jake, no…” Matt whimpered, and kept trying to rouse him. “No, don’t leave me… you can’t…”

Tears started to gather in his eyes and he was barely aware of the nurses coming over.

“You can’t!” he cried. “You gotta come home with me! We’re gonna open Camp Jezebel, you’re gonna get married and have all those damn kids… Jake no, you can’t…”

With a sob, Matt dropped to his friend’s chest and clutched his body for dear life, letting the waterfall of tears go. His heart had been shattered into a million pieces that not even Violet could fix. Jake was gone and he was never coming back. And Matt didn’t know how he could go on.

He was barely aware of Ivy gently pulling him off the body. He was barely aware of Joslyn checking Jake for a pulse then giving a grim nod. And he was barely aware of Courtney helping him back to his own bed.

Time and space seemed to stand still as Matt wept until he was numb; until everything went black.

***

“God almighty,” Matt groaned as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes the next morning. “Jake, you will not believe the nightmare I had-” he turned to face the empty bed across from him.

As reality set in, he burst into tears. Completely lost, all he could register was the pain in his chest and the sight of the most beautiful brunette he had ever seen slowly approaching his cot. Matt looked up at her with a tear stained face, before breaking down again and burying his face in his hands, sobbing.

Warm, gentle arms slowly encompassed him. Violet held Matt and allowed him to cry for as long as he needed. She rubbed his back in silence as the two mourned the loss of hope and happiness that the war had taken away from them.

***

Matt fell into a deep depression when he realized he’d never see his friend again. Violet tried to get him to eat, tried to get him to relax and rest as she knew he would never heal himself unless he did.

But Matt could barely hear her through the fog that clouded his vision. He was lost without his other half and didn’t know how to function anymore.

He finally spoke again days later while watching Violet methodically change his bandage. “Sorry if we were rude or anything.”

Violet looked up at him, surprised. He didn’t meet her eye.

She quickly returned to her task. “It’s alright.”

“How am I gonna live in this world without him?” Matt asked her.

She gave a sad smile. “Time will tell.”

He didn’t answer, lost in thought as she finished wrapping his leg.

“You think he’d want me to go on and open the bar without him?” Matt asked as she packed up her supplies.

“You would know his answer better than I would,” she replied. “But I think he would want you to live life to the fullest.”

“He would…” Matt thought about it as Violet picked up a rag and gently pressed it against his forehead.

“You’re sweating,” she said with a small smile.

He looked up at her with glossy blue eyes. “I’m sorry your camp was burned. That must’ve been really hard for you.”

Violet nodded and smoothed his hair back. “Thank you.”

“I feel like I should apologize for being a Yankee too…but I don’t know. That’s who I am and I can’t change that… but I just want to apologize for any way I’ve ever hurt you. I want to be more in your eyes…”

Violet concentrated on cooling him off, but her expression stayed soft. “We’re all human at the end of the day, you know. I can’t ask you to be much more than just a good one.”

“I am…” Matt said softly. “I swear to God I am, Violet… I’m not even trying to win you over. You’re gorgeous and talented and so smart, you saved my life. I know you tried to save Jake’s, too.”

She pulled her arm away from his brow to give him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry about your friend, Matthew.”

He nodded in return. “I am too.”

***

The next morning Violet woke up early. She felt the relief that came with the new day as she took her time to stretch and let the warmth of the sunlight dance across her pale skin. The nurse even hummed as she checked out her reflection in the water that stood still in its barrel.

“What’s all this glamour for?” Courtney asked as she and her fellow nurses approached.

“What glamour?” Violet smoothed her dark hair.

“We’ve seen you around lately and we know that look,” Joslyn beamed. “Do you like Matthew?”

“What? Of course not. He’s a patient.”

“I’d say love,” Ivy taunted in a sing-song voice.

“Even though we’ve all probably imagined our lives being married to him, I’d be happy if you had him, Violet,” Joslyn placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“I wouldn’t,” Courtney rolled her eyes.

“I don’t want him,” Violet let out a breathy laugh. “He’s a delinquent,” she scoffed. “But I guess he’s nice…and handsome an-he’s a patient!”

“What did I say?” Ivy giggled. “L-o-v-e.”

“You’re silly,” Violet rustled the teen’s red hair. “Thank you ladies so much for accepting a Rebel like me as your own.”

“We think you’re great!” the young girl hugged her.

“At the end of the day, we’re all human,” Joslyn smiled before joining the hug.

“I suppose,” Courtney said nonchalantly as she checked her nails.

The other girls pulled her into their embrace and they all shared a long laugh.

“Let’s go treat these boys,” Violet smiled.

“What would they do without us?” Ivy skipped towards the tent.

The rest of the girls followed her with Violet smoothing her hair one last time before they entered.

“Good morning, ladies,” Matthew greeted with a bright smile.

“You look better,” Courtney gave his cheek a light pinch.

“I feel better,” he assured before turning to Violet. “Thanks to a little aspirin and a killer smile.”

Violet pursed her lips to fight the grin as she sat on the edge of his bed. The nurse gently caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. “You’re still a little warm.”

“Because of the fever or because of you?” he smirked.

“I’ll let you decide,” she let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m certain it’s you.”

“And how does one cure a high temperature induced by Violet Chachki?”

“A smile and a little personal attention will suffice…for now,” he placed a hand on hers.

She immediately pulled away. “How about aspirin?”

“If you insist,” he sighed.

“Nurse’s orders,” she smiled.

“I’ll get the apple cider,” Ivy said before walking away. The girl turned with one last smile before a cannon ball tore through the tent and exploded behind her; shrapnel killing the sixteen year old, the other nurses and soldiers on the wrong side of the shelter instantly.

Violet swallowed a scream as she cowered by Matt’s side before the dust and smoke filled her lungs.

Confederate soldiers sprang through the debris, ending the life of any survivors, especially those cladded in a blue uniform. As the young rebel aimed his musket at Matt’s chest, he recognized the brunette beauty.

“Violet, what are you doing here?! You could have been killed!”

“I’m a nurse,” she cried. “This is my job.”

“Your job isn’t to be helping Union trash,“ he spat. "Traitor.” The boy aimed his gun at Matt once again.

“No! He’s an undercover Confederate,” she lied quickly, hovering protectively over the boy. “Had you assessed this tent properly before you attacked, you could have spared the lives of the dozen other Rebels I was treating here.”

"Oh no,” he exhaled before dropping his weapon. “Captain Chad Michaels sent orders for an ambush on a Union tent because of the attack on our injured. We were sure it was this one.”

“You were wrong,” she sobbed, Ivy’s smile replaying in her mind.

“We need to get you out of here,” the boy said regrettably. “Back to Atlanta where it’s safe…this soldier too, he’s sure to be discharged with honors.”

“Violet…” Matt whispered as the grey coats scattered. “What are you doing?”

“Saving your ass,” she hissed.

***

After giving Matt a change of clothes so he wouldn’t be shot as their train traveled further past the Mason-Dixon line, he returned to his seat next to Violet and stared at her for a minute as she gazed out the window at the passing trees.

Even with tearing eyes, her beauty was otherworldly.

“You alright?” Matt asked quietly. They had left the camp so fast, he had never checked to make sure she was okay after the traumatic event.

Tears eventually broke the seal of Violet’s tough exterior and she turned to look up at Matt for the first time since he had met her; looking her young age of twenty-one instead of the stern woman with wisdom and experience beyond her years.

“I can’t believe Joslyn is gone…I can’t believe that they’re all gone, ” Violet sobbed as he put an arm around her and pulled her closer. She buried her face in his chest and tried to stop her sobs with no luck.

“I’m so sorry, Violet…it’s a horrible world we live in.” He kissed her hair.

Violet immediately pulled away.

“Sorry,” he backtracked.

She turned her attention back to the window and watched as the world passed by.

“Did you miss being in Atlanta?”

“No,” she wiped her eyes. “There’s just so much I want achieve and I feel very limited in Atlanta. I mean, there are lots of prestigious hospitals and nice things down there but I’m not qualified enough to work there.”

“Well, I think you are. But you could always come to New York,” he suggested with a soft smile.

“And what’s in New York?”

“Opportunities for people who want to pursue nursing,” he smirked. “And me.”

“Is that last one supposed to be a good thing?” she teased.

“I’ll let you decide.”

Violet thought for a minute. “I suppose,” she gave a soft smile before returning to his arms where she stayed for the remainder of the eleven-hour ride to her hometown.

***

When the metal of the train tracks screeched to a halt, Violet glanced up at Matt, sweat glistening across his forehead.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“As okay as I’ll ever be before stepping into enemy territory. I feel like they’ll be able to sniff me out as soon as my feet touch that soil… and I won’t go without a fight.”

“There will be no more fighting for you,” she frowned as she gently patted his forehead. “Remember, you were a part of a fleet of undercover soldiers that Robert E. Lee chose himself.”

Matt remained silent.

“Is that alright?” she stared into his eyes in search of a response.

“Only for you, could I deny who I am.”

“What an amazing nurse I must be,” Violet smiled smugly.

Before Matt could reply, the door to their car slid open.

“Let me go first,” he said protectively. Wincing as he descended the stairs, Matt took in the dozens of smiling faces of Confederate families as they greeted their returning soldiers. He felt a twinge of unknown emotions for them as he knew that some of their loved ones would never come back.

After ensuring that things were safe, Matt turned, took Violet’s hand and helped her off the train.

“Captain,” she greeted the older gentleman with a smile and embrace. Instinctively, Matt wanted to grab her and run away as he took in the grey uniform, heavily decorated in ribbons and credentials, but he knew he had a role to play.

“It’s good to see you safe and back home,” the man said before glancing at the unknowingly frowning Matt.

“This is Confederate Private Matthew Lent,” Violet introduced through gritted teeth, chastising look in her eyes.

Matt swallowed his pride. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” he nodded before turning back to Violet. “My dear, your angelic touch will be desperately needed at the church downtown, the place is overflowing with the sick and injured.”

“Of course,” she nodded.

“And you, Private, are more than welcome to stay in my home. You’ve done your fighting, now it’s time to rest,” Captain Chad smiled. “Perhaps you could even heal and rejoin us.”

Matthew nearly spat.

“He’ll be accompanying me, Captain,” Violet informed. “He’s from Virginia and once the dust settles, I promised to show him my world.”

“Excellent.”

The boy gave a complacent smirk as Violet finished the conversation and the Captain strode away.

“You’re a terrible actor,” she scowled at Matt.

“So, when do I get to see your world?” he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. To his surprise, she didn’t shake it off.

“Right now,” she assured. “And we’ll start at the church.”

“Helping Confederate soldiers…”

“It won’t kill you to help. Remember how I met you? I would’ve rather died than touch a Yankee.”

“Do you still feel that way?” he caressed her cheek.

“I think so,” she taunted.

Matt let out a breathy laugh. “Is the church far from here?”

“It’s walking distance, but I’ll get a wagon.”

“No, it’s okay. I can walk,” he tried to hide his grimace as he applied pressure to his left leg.

“Matt,” she said sternly.

“Violet,” he replied.

“Your leg isn’t ready.”

“Did I ever tell you how beautiful your eyes were?” Matt gave a half smile.

“I’m guessing that arguing would be futile?”

“You understand me!” he chuckled before kissing her cheek. She gave his cheek a light smack in return.

“Don’t press your luck…Yankee,” she whispered.

“Yes ma'am,” Matt smiled.

As the two began the short walk to the church, the soldier had managed to convince Violet that he needed to hold her hand for support.

“Only because it’s my duty as a nurse,” she assured. “That’s it.”

“Oh, of course,” he mocked. “Thank you so much, nurse.”

Matt glanced over at her and finally made up his mind. Violet was the most beautiful girl in the world.

***

Violet and Matt quickly adjusted to life in Atlanta; more quickly than Matt would have liked. He valued his life and his company with the most beautiful girl in the world, but at the same time he was miserable pretending to be a Confederate. It was sacrilegious that he was helping the enemy grow bigger and stronger. He was in shock over the fact that he had started as a lowly boy from New York who wanted to take over the world with Jake, who then lost his best friend, and somehow became attached to the beautiful girl who used to swear that he was too disgusting to even touch.

Not even Violet’s slowly changing demeanor could cheer him up for long periods of time, although he had to admit it was nice to see her softer side. Ever since their traumatic flight from Delaware and the heartfelt time on the train, the two had become closer and Matt knew, without a doubt that he was falling for her. He found himself night after night unable to sleep, and walking outside to look at the stars and pray for help.

“Jake,” he would say softly. “I don’t know what to do, brother. I’m falling in love with Violet… I want to be with her for the rest of my life and I’m scared.. I’ve never wanted a relationship or commitment like this before. And what if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes but Matt refused to let them fall. “I just miss you so much,” he would say quietly, before returning to the shelter.

That night, he dreamt of his beautiful nurse in the center of an empty ballroom, wearing a gorgeous gown and bearing a face painted by angels themselves. With smokey black eyes, perfect red lips and a smile that made him weak in the knees, she beckoned him closer.

“Aren’t you gonna come dance with me?” she laughed. “We can celebrate, Matty. The war’s over, and we can start to live again…”

He was only reaching for her waist when she disappeared, and he woke up to nothing but bare walls, the dead of the night, and the gruesome heat of the southern summer.

***

It turned out that being miserable wasn’t just due to his current situation and scenery - Violet’s sharp wit and instincts came to the surface once again to tell her that Matt was sick. And sick he was.

“Let me see it,” she insisted one night, grabbing his shoulder in attempt to get him to stay in the room.

“Vi, I’m fine,” he gently pushed her away. “Seriously, it’s healing. Stop fussing over me.”

“You have a bullet in there, Matthew,” she fired back, finally getting a good grip on him and pushing him down in a chair. “Let me look.”

Giving in, he let her unwrap the bandage on his leg that hadn’t been replaced in days. Her brown eyes narrowed as she studied the wound, and he could almost hear the cogs in her mind turning.

She swiftly rewrapped it before looking up at him. “You’ve been more irritable recently than normal. Don’t deny it, Matthew.”

“Excuse me for being upset that I’m pretending to be Confederate scum,” he hissed so no one would hear.

“Oh hush, we’re not going there again,” she cut him off. “How’s your appetite?”

Silence.

“Not good, I guess,” he said after a minute. “I thought it was just because of my bad mood…and headaches.”

“Headaches? You’ve been losing weight too, it looks like.” She pinched the corner of his shirt, measuring how loose it hung off his shoulders.

He looked up at her. “What does all this mean, Violet?”

She looked back at him, blue eyes so hopeful and waiting for her diagnosis. The boy that she would inevitably fix, and make him right again so they could go on and find their way out of this mess of a war. But those baby blue eyes were what stopped her tongue. She knew the answer, but she couldn’t get it out.

“You’re just getting depressed,” she said, standing up. “Your body is having trouble adjusting, and there’s a lot going on. You’ll be fine.”

“What about the bullet?”

“You’ll be fine!” Violet repeated as she left the room, swiftly shutting the door behind her and leaving a confused Matt all by himself.

***

Violet sat by the window in her room that evening as the sun set; expression blank as the sky turned orange behind the clouds.

“He has all the symptoms of lead poisoning,” she whispered to any higher power that would listen. “And because there’s a bullet lodged in there, I know it’s severe.”

Violet’s voice trembled as she dropped her head to look down at the windowsill in defeat. “He’s going to die. B-But he can’t…” she fought to keep her voice steady. “I think I love him.”

***

Matt’s condition only continued to deteriorate as time went on, and so did his confusion as Violet refused to tell him what was wrong. Before long, he was once again bedridden, and the lead was starting to toy with his memory as the infected blood stream reached his brain.

“Where’s Jake?” he asked one day, bewildered as she organized medications on the counter across the room.

“Jake isn’t here, sweetie,” she answered, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. “I reminded you only a few hours ago.”

No answer from her patient, as he relapsed back into the depths of his swimming memory until sleep took him. Violet set her jaw and bit her lip as she kept organizing and completing inventory. He was dying right in front of her and she never thought her heart could ache so badly.

***

The fading memories started to mix in with random interjections and sayings, much like a child blurting out whatever came to mind. Most of them were harmless, like “I hear the train!” or “I’m tired!”

Violet learned to let them just become background noise as she did her work and balanced her time between taking care of Matt and her other patients in the church. One day it just became mindless babbling as she swept the floor around his room, and she had almost blocked it out entirely when he called for her attention.

“Violet?”

She looked up, broom in hand. “Yes, Matt?”

“I love you.”

The stark declaration of his feelings for her hit Violet like a brick to the face, and she immediately got so overcome with emotion it took her longer than she would have liked to collect herself.

“Do you love me?” Deep down, she never would have thought the Union player that was Matthew James would ever declare his love for a woman.

He nodded. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, Violet. I’ve said it since that first day in Delaware. And I love you, I really do.”

He remembered Delaware.. that recollection made Violet even more choked up as she knew his feelings were that much more pure, and his declaration of his love wasn’t just the poison talking.

She couldn’t bear to say it back. He only had days left.

***

That day came, and she found Matt after one of his daily naps struggling to breathe. The look on his face was one she had seen many times before, and she knew he was close to crossing. He needed her help to get there, and although it pained her so much more than any other man she had ever done it for, she pulled a chair up to his bed and took his hand.

“You’re gonna go see Jake again,” she whispered, trying to keep him calm. “It’s not gonna hurt anymore, you’re gonna laugh with him and hug him and everything’s gonna be alright.”

“But what about you?” Matt asked, looking up at her with heavy eyelids as his breaths grew more shallow.

“I’ll always be with you,” Violet promised, holding his hand tightly. “I promise. I’m always here for you, Matt.”

“My angel,” he replied, voice hoarse. “Just like the first time I met you. I asked what your name was, my angel sent from heaven. And now you’re helping me back to where you came from…”

She managed to stay composed despite his words. “You’re gonna be just fine, Matty.. I know you are.”

All he could do was give her a weak smile. Then Violet watched as his eyes closed and his breath slowly faded away to nothing. Fighting to keep her own breathing steady, she suppressed tears and slowly looked down at his now lifeless hand in hers before gently kissing his forehead.

“I love you…” she whispered, voice trembling, before laying his hand down on his chest. The tears wouldn’t come. All she could feel was emptiness.

***

Violet watched from a distance as Matt’s body was taken away. Knowing that the soldier wouldn’t want to spend an eternity in Atlanta, Violet scavenged up on the money that paid to have him smuggled back to his hometown in New York. Matt was buried at the Union Army Cemetery with full honors.

***

The tears refusing to flow, Violet just felt numb. She knew going into this war that many lives would be lost. But she just never thought that she would ever grow so close to one…especially one fighting for the enemy.

Taking a deep breath, Violet began to go through Matt’s belongings when she stumbled across his Union uniform. She ran her fingers over the tattered navy blue fabric before stopping at the patch; a small circle insignia stitched in gold thread with Private embroidered across the center. A small yank was all it took for the badge to give way, and Violet turned it over in her hands as her vision grew blurry from the impending tears.

“I love you,” Violet sniffled.

She composed herself before pocketing the memento.

Life wasn’t fair. This was war, and most battles never had happy endings. As Violet walked back to the church, she wondered if she would ever get her happy ending.

***

New York, 1870

“Good evening, Violet,” Chad Michaels greeted when she entered her bar, Camp Jezebel, that night. “How was the hospital today?”

“It was great. I love being a nurse, but you know my heart is here,” she smiled as she ran her fingers over the soft red portieres. They were the same shade as the plush seating throughout. Rows of chandeliers reflected the light of the candelabras, creating a soft glow in the place that didn’t seem real.

“You can’t go wrong with women and whiskey,” he chuckled. “I would’ve never thought you’d open a place like this though.”

“When you love someone, you don’t mind adopting their dreams as your own.”

“You love someone?”

“More than he’ll ever know,” she exhaled.

“Lucky sap,” Chad chortled.

She gave a soft smile and shook her head. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my office,” the brunette sighed as she sauntered up the stairs to the small room she’d turned into her sanctuary. She closed the mahogany door behind her before pressing her back against it.

“More than he’ll ever know,” she closed her eyes and said a little prayer.

When she opened her eyes, Violet glanced at the framed navy blue insignia that hung on the wall above her desk and gave a soft smile at the bittersweet memories; when days were dark and where worlds collided.


End file.
